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Saturday, January 26, 2013

You're gonna get the full 12-inches, and you're gonna take it, like it and beg for more, you dirty, dirty whore


Subway Promises to Make Footlong Subs 12 Inches Long

by Amy McKeever
Subway has weighed in on the scandalous revelation that the chain's footlong subs sometimes are actually more like 11 inches long. (Non-math people: a foot is 12 inches.) A Subway representative sends a statement expressing regret for "any instance where we did not fully deliver on our promise to our customers" and promising to "ensure that every SUBWAY® Footlong sandwich is 12 inches at each location worldwide." The company also says that it has "redoubled our efforts to ensure consistency and correct length in every sandwich we serve."
As reported earlier this week, two men in New Jersey filed a lawsuit against the chain alleging that not a single sandwich measured from 17 different Subway shops was actually a foot long. The honorable Stephen Colbert has also criticized the chain for what he called a "corporate scamwich" and claiming that, "We have been five dollar foot-wronged." Subway couldn't comment on the lawsuit as it is pending litigation, but here is the statement in full:
For 47 years, customer satisfaction has been our top priority. We regret any instance where we did not fully deliver on our promise to our customers. We freshly bake our bread throughout the day in our more than 38,000 restaurants in 100 countries worldwide, and we have redoubled our efforts to ensure consistency and correct length in every sandwich we serve. Our commitment remains steadfast to ensure that every SUBWAY® Footlong sandwich is 12 inches at each location worldwide.
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